Relationship: Are you the Reacher or Settler?

3:54 PM

This has actually been in my draft for quite sometime, I think way back in 2010 when I wanted to blog something about this. I guess I was too busy to blog about this! (To be honest, I was very lazy! Haha)

I wanted to blog about this back then mainly because I was in a relationship during that period and I happened to came across this situation.

Are you the reacher or the settler? This was actually from an episode of ''How I Met Your Mother''.


The Reacher
The reacher reaches for someone out of their league.

The Settler
The settler settles for someone below theirs and is seldom jealous.

The theory of this is that in a relationship, there will always be a Reacher and a Settler. Where the "Reacher" is dating someone out of their league and the "Settler" is settling for someone below theirs.

Personally I agreed with this theory 100%. What sets the gap of the Reacher and the Settler might be pertaining to difference in things like social status, attractiveness, wealth, intelligence level, etc.



I'm very good looking and have very nice features. I'm so hot and I have six pacs. I'm super smart and intelligent! I have high IQ and EQ that not anyone has! I'm not born with a silver spoon but a GOLDEN SPOON! I'M SUPER WEALTHY!!!!!!! What's more? I'M A FAMOUS BLOGGER!!!!! :D

and I am dating this girl who is..

Average looking, having acne problems. Nose that is kinda huge for a girl and her nostril hair can always be seen!! She is quite chubby though! Not that smart, goes to average secondary school and then polytechnic and is working full time now. She is not that rich but it is ok because I'm too rich so I will pay for her every time we go out!

I'm dating her because she has a good personality.

So obviously I'm the settler in this relationship. I can't really make myself go crazy about her thus I am not as attentive to her as I should be. Sometimes I don't even feel the need to return any of her phone calls or texts.

And what happens in return? She will keep on trying and this eventually makes her in the Reacher position.


Another example:

My girlfriend is the perfect girl that every guys want!

She is so sexy, hot and always take photos with her cleavage! I'm very jealous because other guys always like her photos on Facebook! She has like 500 over friend requests and all of them are guys! She is taller than me as well, so depressing. She always goes clubbing but I can't really stop her because I think I'm a nobody to her and I've no rights to do so since I'm so ugly.

I always text her in the morning with a super sweet message but she only replies me after 2 hours. I consistently text her and make my time free just for her but I guess she is super busy with her life. I always call her at night to chat with her but she always says that she needs to sleep soon!


I don't even know why she wants to be with me :( Omg I'm so self conscious and I think I have self-esteem problems! I'm such a Reacher in this relationship! :( :( :(

This makes her the settler.


I'm very sure this applies in most of your relationships after a period of time. This could also happen if one of you lost interest in your partner thus neglecting them.

To all the Reachers in your relationship! Don't worry! You can be the Settler as well! You can just keep feeding your partners and make them really fat so no one will want them so they will be the Reacher in the end. Muahahaha!

Ok jokes aside, I don't even know if there is a relationship whereby both parties are almost equal in every factors. It doesn't have to be the exactly the same. As long as the gap of the factors are close.

Erm, does that mean that good looking people have to be with good looking people? Or the ugly ones have to find a ugly partner?

Ending with a photo of a Settler:


So are you a Reacher or a Settler?

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